'​.​.​.​& All His Boyish Charms' (2009)

by Marq DeSouza

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-A very personal rock album. He also writes from a very moral perspective, which gives his record a strong POV. These songs are not filled with empty thoughts but actually try to say something. (Vancouver Province)
-Inspiration drips from every distorted and bent guitar note, down-but-not-out vocal phrasing, and sneered lyric. (Georgia Straight)
-Way smarter than average take on the singer-songwriter thing, and ear for what made rock classic. (The Nerve)
-Gritty, intelligent rock songs Wilco & Bob Dylan fans will appreciate. (Vancouver Courier)
-Think Steve Earle with the needle still in his arm. (Discorder)
-A lotus land Springsteen
with the bite of a pitbull. His music is radio-friendly, thinking mans driving rock. (Lethbridge Herald)


released January 1, 2009

- Produced by Marty Ballentyne & Marq DeSouza except track 10, produced by Marq DeSouza & Shaun Howells
- Mixed by Marq DeSouza, Marty Ballentyne, Chris Holmes at Greenhouse Studios
- Mastered by Jamie Sitar at Suite Sound Labs
- Cover art by Jonny Ostrem

- All instrumentation by Marty Ballentyne & Marq DeSouza except bass on track 6 by Jean Savoie
- Audio manipulation on track 4 by D'arcy O'Connor
- All lead vocals by Marq DeSouza except for track 1, co-lead vocals by Marty Ballentyne, & rap by Hellnback
- Various background vocals by Marty Ballentyne, Amanda Sellers, Zoe Ballentyne, Kristi Lane Sinclair, Donovan Bruyere

-All music & lyrics written by Marq DeSouza except track 1: lyrics by DeSouza/Ballentyne/Hellnback, music by DeSouza/Ballentyne
track 2: music by DeSouza/Haney
track 6: music & lyrics by DeSouza/Love

Registered with SOCAN.
Made in Canada



all rights reserved


Marq DeSouza Vancouver, British Columbia

-A very personal rock album. He also writes from a very moral perspective, which gives his record a strong POV. These songs are not filled with empty thoughts but actually try to say something. (Vancouver Province)

-Inspiration drips from every distorted and bent guitar note, down-but-not-out vocal phrasing, and sneered lyric. (Georgia Straight)
... more

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Track Name: Who Is Better Than Us?

Who better than us know what it's like to be lonely?

We got our freak flag flying so high, it might fly away
I know we all have a voice, but do we all have a say?

Tired of the haystack and of being the needle
Wanna set whole realms of fire with a hot ardent zeal

Apocalypse then, apocalypse now, apocalypse soon
It's always happy hour some where, it's always high noon

There's a lot more of us here, than there are of you
In the margins of the alley, in the valley of the chosen few
Track Name: More Than A Price

A scrapbook or the trash bin, where do all these memories belong?
Time heals some things painlessly, but other things they just bruise on
Electric dreams & un-hatched schemes, every promise riddled word
Have gone the way of the dodo bird

A career's worth of chaos, built up in just a few short years
Damn this river, freeze then shiver from full force of tears
Was it something I did? something I inherited? all this wet heat that fueled my heart
Has gone the way of the horse and cart

More than a price, that's what I paid for this
It's something I can't get back, something I can't pay twice
More than a price, that's what I paid for this
Turned me as tough as nails, made me as cold as ice
More than a price, that's what I paid for this
Turned me as hard as hail, made me as cold as ice

Think I'll move out to the country, try to get away real far
Out from under the shadows of a useless, senseless war
It's all red tape, all dangled bait, any cutting to the core
Has gone the way of the dinosaur

Relativism, is not my type of philosophy
You've got to judge it based on your company
And I've worshipped idols, who've died upon their own sword
Not gonna be a slave to this crave any…
Track Name: Solitaire Bound
You and me, we could be so happy together
But I know that all of this wouldn't last forever
Two of us, we are just like stars in the sky
Way too high to come down and brave stormy weather

Been alone, heart of stone, all cards to the vest
But this weight that you feel, it just needs off of your chest
I can help, been there myself, these scars you conceal
As you ache for the daylight that the sun's warmth can heal

So if you're tired of waiting and watching these wheels spin around
You ain't going nowhere
Just solitaire bound

Had a dream it would seem our lives were entwined
And they rhymed like the verse of a riddler's crime
Could this really be a dance with fate?
Do you really want to take the chance of waiting too long
For the quicksand vine?

Time builds its cages
Adds to the prison inside
Are you the warden?
Or are you just a con?
Who traded their freedom for pride

You and me, we could be so happy together
But I know that all of this couldn't last forever
Here we are, come so far, now every step
Is a light year away from those distant regrets
Track Name: B.J. Babe
Hey black jacket babe, are you really so tough?
Content with the rings from your cigarette puffs
What did you expect from me, yet another dead end?
I don't recall saying that I needed a friend

You swore you'd never get caught, that most lives are a trap
Won't accept second place, don't wanna see no one's back
But you need someone strong, a good man on your arm
To compliment all of your liquor store charm

Hey black jacket babe, every note I meant
From each strum of my strings to every stroke of my pen
You said words are a lie, it's only pain you can trust
I used to believe that, but I had faith in us

You gave a royal speech, from the monarch's throne
Espousing the virtues of living alone
These are curious times, my friends don't understand
Just why you'd pour fire on a burning man

Our hand it was forced, a wedge driven between
I came off weak, but you came off mean
I'd trade all I have, for us to re-live
You could dull your edges, & I could forgive

Hey black jacket babe, did I leave you no doubt
The words loser, lover and loner, are just one letter out?
You're a song with no bridge, your chorus incomplete…

Hey black jacket babe, is there somebody else?
Are you there with him now, while I'm here by my self?
An imaginative mind can be like a curse
Whatever you're doing, I'm picturing worse

Hey black jacket babe, maybe we weren't bound for glory
But the wound cuts deeper to think I'm unworthy
With you it was always the hardest to take
To see this connection you were unwilling to make

Kept your lips shut tight, while the lights were dimmed low
Wouldn't let me in places I wanted to know
There's not an inch on you that I wouldn't have devoured
But the days were like minutes and the weeks like hours

You could never decide what you were interested in
But you were sure it was something that I couldn't have been
Time's healed the scar; still you never had a clue
When it came down to the wire, what I'd have done for you

Hey black jacket babe, I hoped you were proof
Of a flickering star, in the twilight of youth
Each memory I trace, defines bittersweet
Did you really exist, or was it just my conceit?

Is the obvious loose, like a rattling chain?
A hangman's noose, cutting off air to our brains
I'll ask one last time, give me all that you got
I know you can sing, now i wanna hear you talk
Track Name: End Of This Song
December days are near again
I'm not standing too tall
As the sun trades shifts with the moon and the snowflakes start to fall

Here I sit reflecting upon so many things
Like that mystery groove, & how I can prove I've got the voice and I can sing

I'll take this funny feeling and spin it into gold
Throw indecision to the flaming pit
Either show my cards or fold

But I can't wait too long
I only have until the end of this song

I know I'm not in your league
Or even the same sport
For every cute-ish line I toss your way
You got a wittier retort
Admit that there's no reason
Why you and me can't rhyme
I've trawled the many uncharted miles
Off the great wall of your pride

And I can't wait much longer
My love grows so much stronger

I'm spinning like a skater, on a sheet of frozen rain
If the ice melts, from the heat felt
I'll meet you at the bottom of the drain
You know my little missy dear, every time that we're alone
My heart runs wild like a bastard child who's out searching for a home

But I can't wait too long
We're already at the middle of this song

Your hell it hath no fury
To the touch it's nice and hot
The little boy in me wants to tug on your curls
The man in me has far more devilish thoughts
Don't expect the world from me
Or even simple answers
I'm on time, my house in order, got semi-good looks, do I have to also find the cure for cancer?
Track Name: Absolute Duty (to someone like you)
My pain is plenty, my friends are few, do you think I could matter to someone like you?

With hard times behind me, in which ditch will you find me?
I've got loose lips from sips of cheap wine
A master of disguises, deception and surprises
But for you I would walk a straight line
My fantasy swims, in a river of sin
My carnal thoughts know where we'll travel
And every place I will trace on your skin

I've carved out a theme of slight of hand schemes
But it's come time to settle this game
It's down to the end of this poisonous pen
There's barely enough ink left to write my name
A light's on the horizon
I'm dragging around lies and
I've gambled all the fortunes that I've made
All for you down to the edge of this blade

My compadres in the clink sure still like to drink
Imprisoned with prisons inside
Disregard the disgrace and I'll show you my face
In the light of your eyes I won't hide
Somewhere there's a cure for the bad things that were
Every innocent soul that's been shattered
Every heartache my loved ones have endured

My hands are busy, but my aim's still true, do you think I could matter to someone like you?
Track Name: Learn To Let Go
I made a line graph of the last 5 years, high was good, low would represent loss
But I ran out of paper, the pen hit the table, going vertically down not across
I aint no joker, not a face made for poker
Can't force myself to not give a toss
But I know, that I'm gonna have to learn to let go

I was stuck in a rut, thankfully there's a but, there were still signs of life to me yet
So I jumped like a rabbit from a hat of bad habits, to this day it's a promise I kept
Still I thought I'd wake up, be completely unstuck
Instead I'm bogged down in all this regret
I move too slow, and I'm gonna have to learn to let go

It was all crystal clear from the view in the mirror that sometimes even good looks deceive
I needed to thaw, so I had to withdraw, from the ugly & everyday freeze
The shadows my friend, gonna use it to mend
Come back at a million degrees
I swear to god I'm gonna glow, but I'm gonna have to learn to let go

So suddenly I testify to the committee of lost years
Reliving every train wreck, broken friendships, endless tears

The stadium's packed, all the odds they are stacked, the bets say my chances are slim
But I'm gonna fight, use all of my might, so don't be suprised if I win
My trainer's got ice and a lot of advice, he says
Be a man take this punch on the chin
Just like a pro, I'm just gonna have to learn to let go.

Oh, will I ever be happy? Oh, If I can just hang on
The dreaded lonely nights will be gone
Track Name: Lighter Than A Feather
Lighter than a feather, that's the key phrase of the day
You had no reason to trust me, but you did anyway
I've done so wrong to many, lucky I always knew the right thing to say
Now that I'm feeling better, I'm back to claim the prize
An heirloom of a mojo hand, and a pair of serpent eyes
There are no hidden secrets, of which you would be surprised

Lighter than feather, as you kissed me on the cheek
For a guy so ready to rumble, it sure left me weak
I'm a relic from a bygone era, who's surely reached his peak
I can recite sermons on wasted youth
Or stand helpless before you and show you living proof
Some might say it's over kill, but I just call it brutal truth
Lighter than a feather, absolved of any crime
So much to measure up to, such little precious time
Why would you cross this ocean, when I can barely cross your mind?
I've given up the battle, to them I cede control
Take your best shot; go try to find the tyrant in the hole
I'll help to look tomorrow, but today is much too cold

Lighter than a feather, tickling the air
Delivered straight up to heaven on a whispered prayer
I have so much inside I'd like to say to you, but can I bring myself to share

Some things you learn and other things you just feel
Like a drinking man yearns for the cracking of the seal
All your secrets are like covered skin that I want you to reveal

Lighter than a feather, balanced on the steps
Such a shock to the nervous system of one who's plumbed such lonely depths
I've signed all living documents and covered all my debts
Will ahead be stormy weather, forcing us apart
Will the lies from your tongue become truths in my heart?
I took a path to darkness that led straight from the start

Lighter than a feather, in me you can trust
But investigate my priors and frisk me if you must
I'll accept any punishment, any sentence you see just
I've got you in my sights, and your name is in my book
Ever since you shot me that oh so hard to read look
So go ahead take a chance right now, it'll be the best one you ever took
Lighter than a feather, but still a fool no more
I'm been waiting for a howling wind, to come knocking down your door
You said to let you know when, but I kept on wanting more and more and more
Track Name: Bar For The Broken-Hearted
I'm going to open up a bar for the broken hearted
Sling all the drinks for the people just like me
A place where the dear folks can mourn their departed
Who've given up hope of living ever happily?

We'll get a bouncer to keep out all the happy couples
Don't need reminders of lives that might've been
You order a single; I'll pour you a double
You're the king; tonight the bottle is your queen

I was sober, but that's over
Yes I was sober, but that's over
It was fun while it lasted, but now I'm off getting blasted

So I'm going to open up a bar for the broken hearted
Sooner or later I know she'll come around
To see the place that her wicked ways have started
It'll be the hottest spot, the busiest place in town

Now it's always been a dream of mine to have a place to call my own
But in this room so full of like-minded souls, I can't imagine feeling any more alone
We all pace this dance floor solo, keep our affections guarded
Inside we cry a lullaby, a song for the broken hearted
Track Name: Renewal (pt.1)
Everything's looking up from the deep of this well
But is it the womb of re-birth, or the bottom of hell?
I look for the day, where I won't look for order
Renewal seems just around the corner

Used to take the shortcut, rob Peter pay Paul
Aspire to the vanity of the rich, be the wicked belle of the ball
I thought to be king you had to be cruel
And the tighter the fist, the longer you'll rule

At a very tender age, I headed out west
A meal of decadence, I sucked from the breast
The lessons were hard, & I sure took my licks
But my tongue still wags, & my clock still ticks

I made a vow to my ego, never to be confined
Every treasure to be hoarded, forever to be mine
But the minutes turned long, every day like a year
Till I couldn't recognize, what looked back from the mirror
If you let it, this life can grind you to dust
Lead you down alleys, of despair and disgust
Forgiveness remains for the righteous and wicked
For the lovesick and hated, for the healthy and sicked
When I look in the eyes, of my child I can see
That most of him is perfect, and the rest of him is me
For everything you must fight, even your own history
Which has already happened, isn't that crazy

There are very few things I have any clue what I'm doing
Every man has that right to be his own ruin
Every bargain is made from a weakened position
Diagnosed with a case of the human condition

When I close my eyes quick, movies play in my head
Soundtrack drenched in the blues, musicians long dead
At an auction I bid for some worthy advice
From Mohammad, the Buddha & Jesus Christ

I ain't got thick skin, but I'm pretty well dressed
About little things, I'm a lot of obsessed
But I'm working my way to get out of this rut
No more punch lines, punch-drunk or punched in the gut
There's a fine line to walk when pursuing romance
Either jump in too soon, or you miss the chance
When I get through the door, things go right up in smoke
They either think I'm a jerk, or they don't get my jokes
From the time I could think, I believed in a voice
But they made me believe my belief was a choice
The angles can change but no matter the view
The truth doesn't need me, and it sure don't need you
People ask me my hobbies, I tell 'me suicide prevention
100 percent success rate, with a client whose name I can't mention
I tell him or her that the best comes tomorrow
So it's first light I seek, and daybreak I follow

I've gone where the boat simply drifts with the tide
If you want to jump on, need no ticket to ride
There's always a risk of a surprise attack
I've sailed through that storm, but I'm thinking about going back

Something's gone very wrong, with the world today
Can't be fixed by a faith, or how hard you pray
I don't mean to be harsh, or to sound the alarm
Where others see hope, I can only see harm
The hardest thing to accept is that yesterday's gone
You can't go back and change it no matter what you did wrong
But right now is forever and it's in your command
Every moment is a promise in the palm of your hand